June 15, 2011

Passed on to me by a girlfriend’s Aunt who was an EMT.

Some guy decided to commit suicide. He took a shotgun out on the porch, leaned his back against the railing, barrel in mouth, and pulled the trigger. Due to the odd angle at which this occurred, the gun shifted and blew only half of his head clean off. Apparently, after attempting to blowing his head off, he fell back through the porch railing breaking both his arm and leg on the left side.

So the EMT’s show up and see whats happened. They go over and, per procedure, examine the body to confirm death. They check for a pulse and breathing, the guy’s dead, of course. So they all head back to ambulance to get whatever they need in this type of situation. All of a sudden they start noticing this deliberate jingling. After a few seconds, on EMT turns and screams.

This guy, with half a head, a broken arm, and broken leg, has gotten up off the ground and started hobbling around. The jingling sound they’re hearing is his car keys which he has dug out of his pocket with his good arm and started walking towards the car.

One EMT pukes, one screams, another calls for backup. Personally, I would have hoped there were other shells left in the shotgun. That fucker is goin down Resident Evil style.

– Posted by modestlycocky ; Reddit


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