You Met My Grandparents, Didn’t You?

May 24, 2011

i got a few, i’ll tl:dr; them for the fact i’m foggy on details myself because.. some incidents are old, some aren’t wanted memories, and some just aren’t that impressive to me anymore. needless to say, i’ve seen a rather bulky range of ‘wtf’ stuff.

first is straight and simple. a UFO. i was a kid, and a particularly bright, strong red light was doing its thing across the sky. i would normally dismiss this outright, i lived in los angeles county, and there are traffic patterns for 4 international airports and countless small airports in the area, not to mention police, medical and news helicopters. however, there was that ‘something just isnt right’ sensation about that light, and i distinctly remember the ‘frozen time’ and hair on the back of the neck effect that brief light and what it did gave me.

still la county – at a friends house. this friend swears up and down her house is haunted, i dismiss her outright. mostly because there are very few old homes in southern california, especially the area we lived in. maybe (probably) something stuck in my subconscious. i’m left alone to the living room while she steps outside. it’s a few minutes of usual nothing, just the hum of a window A/C before i’m hearing a god damn conversation happening IN THE ROOM I’M IN. now, this room is dark, but i can see to all four corners enough to make out every object, and there is no other person, let alone two. after a nice little inspection to be sure i’m alone inside, i’m promptly outside. i didnt explain myself, just lit a cigarette, but she cryptically says “you met my grandparents didnt you” ..didn’t help me out.

no longer los angeles county. nearbyish, by big bear – middle of the forest, 5,500-ish feet up a mountain (for those familiar with the area, running springs ) i can recount endless fucking stories from this area, between wandering around the forest or stumbling across some of the older abandoned homes (either outright, fire damaged, reclaimed by the parks service, etc) this place can be an effectively creepy fucker at any time, any age. but, instead of a creepy story, i’m gonna give you an amusing one. we brought our ‘outside cats’ with us to the mountains, and while we did our best to make ‘inside cats’ of them, they wouldnt have it. now, we had an empty space between us and the next home over, and one day there’s a bizzarly loud sound, sort of like a rainbird sprinkler has broken in the high-speed mode. thing is its extra loud, and no one has sprinklers up there. so i finally get tired of it and go out to have a look. spot my big rescue kitty (an overweight but surprisingly overactive lardball aptly named garfield) chilling in the lot. he has the typical ‘cats just dont give a fuck’ look on his face, disinterested tail swishes, but he wont budge when i call. considering this cat will play fucking fetch and pants like a dog, this is odd. i finally have that weird moment where your eyes resolve camoflauge and see the rather beefy rattlesnake next to him, coiled up in strike mode, tail a shakin’, and his snout is about four inches from my cat’s head. i get my mom out (a former police officer) and start demanding she get one of the guns from inside. she doesnt wanna risk the cops coming out or shooting the cat. i personally figure “either we shoot the cat or the snake, because the snake’s gonna bite the cat if he tries to get away.” we’re close enough for fair accuracy with a rifle, iffy accuracy with a handgun. we don’t even get to finish the fight before my cat fucking SNIFFS THE SNAKE’S NOSE and starts trotting up to us. snake didnt even try to bite him. (side note: this is only one of dozens of this cat’s bad-assery. despite his endless pickles and close calls – all the way from the day he was born, he made it to something like 18 years old before dying of natural causes).

i’ve got a lot of driving stories. i’ve done a complete coast to coast haul alone (long beach california to long island new york), a couple half-countries and i regularly do 500-1500 mile treks, often for the sole purpose of ‘getting lost and finding my way out without a map or help’. the cross country trek; i did it in three days flat, hard driving, averaging 19 (16, 18, 22 each ‘day’) hours a shot between rests. all i can say is never drive through the panhandle of texas at night. never never never. i don’t know how to explain it, but i saw the same prison and the same exit (and the same ‘do not pick up hitch hikers sign that always pops up before a prison) three times in a row. same highway, never took an exit. was in fact riding cruise control the whole time. it didn’t help the back window was doing that funky wisp/fog thing (dont know if any other drivers have experience with the effect.) from sun down to sun up. i was waiting for rod serling to pop up in my back seat and start narrating this shit.

now. i can chalk silly shit like voices in the home, the ufo, and the weirdo exit thing up to mind games and real things that i just didnt understand at that particular moment.

but the shadow people…

– Posted by thekilljoy; Reddit

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