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Suddenly, without a shadow of a doubt, I knew.

May 12, 2011

All right; I can resist no longer. Not a ghost story, but a kind of premonition, perhaps.

My brother, age 20, had been sick for a week with “the flu” when I left for college in 1972 at age 17. Several days later, I hear from my folks that he is in the hospital and has survived a close call with a ruptured appy. (He had been to the doc at least once, if not twice, during this week. But that’s another story, as the doc was later disciplined by the state medical society for failure to provide minimal care – not my brother’s case.) I was angry with my folks for years for not telling me what was transpiring, but I am mature enough now to realize that they thought they were doing the best thing by not adding to my stress level.

Anyway, the next day, suddenly, without a shadow of a doubt, I KNEW that he had died. I actually hid in a campus building where I knew no one would think to look for me so I could spend a couple hours alone, crying, before I felt ready to face those who would be coming to fetch me and send me home. Which is exactly what happened. My boyfriend-at-the-time had looked for me on another floor of that building, and, unable to find me, was waiting for me at the bike rack outside my dorm when I returned. My brother’s death was totally unexpected – pulmonary embolism after ambulating in the hall with his fiance; they were to be married in one month. A tragedy all around.

Another weird thing that I have shared (until now) only with my sister:

About a month after his death, I had a very vivid dream. On a bright, sunny day, with puffy white clouds in an azure sky, I find myself walking down a street. Obviously a new street, as only new construction is visible. Several houses are going up, with many busy workmen about, and I hear the sounds of their talking and hammering as they pound nails in the wall partitions going up. As I pass the first house, my brother jumps down from the open first floor where he is either working or supervising and steps out to greet me. He motions to the house and tells me that he is building this house and that, when it is finished, I will come and live with him there.

That’s all I remember, but it is the ONLY dream I’ve ever had that I can remember for more than a day or two – and this is 33 years later (yep, I’m “mature”). I cannot share this with anyone, for it makes me cry to think of it, which it does now. A few years ago, I finally shared it with my sister, who says she has had the same dream. I am convinced (and comforted by the thought) that when it is my time to pass, my brother will be there to greet me.

– Posted by RNPolly; Allnurses

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